Wild Cards (Wild Cards, #1) by Simone Elkeles

Oh my god this book is gross. It’s so cheesy and chintzy and sappy that I think I have to scrap my eyes back from where they stuck to my brain. Even my cats were looking worried by the time I finished because of the gagging noises coming from my mouth.

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Wild Cards by Simone Elkeles is the ultimate punch to any decent teen romance book I’ve ever read so far. I still can’t believe what I had to go through. Those characters, the love interest development the happy ending… GAG! It’s like there is no normal, no slow, no simple.

Everything is extremely exaggerated. Ashtyn and Derek, whoa those two are hilarious. Either they want to fuck each other or they fight. They tell to anybody who wants and even those who don’t want to hear it how annoying the other one is and that there will never ever be something romantic going on. But as soon as the lights are out they have those One-Night-Stand encounters but the next morning it’s back to the No-Touching-Rule. To say that this romance didn’t touch me would be an understatement. There was no spark in the story, no Awww-moments, nothing to sigh on and nothing to cry about. One moment Ashtyn is with Logan, the next she kind of is swooning over Derek and the next she wants to have sex with him and then back to no touching. In the end it’s this can’t-live-without-you part and you just reread the last pages thinking maybe you missed it, but noooohoooo there was not a thing you missed it just wasn’t there. And don’t get me started on the food thing. I mean I really get it they’re supposed to be opposites (because of this opposites attract shit) but she seems to eat only junk-food with expiration dates on it and he drinks organic food smoothies with spinach in it. YUCK YUCK DOUBLE YUCK on both parts.

I really like tough cookies, girls and women who are not playing by the rules, who do what they want to do, who kick ass more than their men counterparts. We are told that Ashtyn is this fantastic kicker, captain of her football team, but we never really see her in action and all she does is practice, even when she is at camp she doesn’t really impress me. She knew before that this is going to be hard, that her ex-boyfriend will be there, and that she is a girl in the same field with 99% of hormonal 17-year old boys. So what do we get: A few of the boys are talking about her behind her back which she overhears and then she runs into her bedroom and weeps? Yeah, that is exactly what I expected from a snowflake but not from a girl that has been voted on Captain of her FUCKING football team. Same same but different with Derek who is supposed to be this bad boy … All he did was playing a childish prank for which he got kicked out of his privileged boarding school. The rest of the book we read from his POV how he mewing the backyard, taking out the dog and making breakfast for his 5-yearld stepbrother. That is really so bad I think I soaked my panties. And you know what: I don’t get it why he has to be the heir to the biggest textile company of the world (so we are told) and therefore rich beyond imagining. Well at least he can afford to make this cheesy-as-fuck happy end.

I was more interested in how Derek’s father and Ashtyn’s sister got together and married than in the crappy teen romance.

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kreativkind

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